imreallyprettyx

and yes bitches just for the record, nigel's back V

Can't hear what they're saying to me;
They're right in front of me, and you're so distracting.
I'm looking beyond their faces looking at me;
You're just arriving, and my heartbeats reacting.

Best feeling ever when you first spoke a word to me,
But these past few days (have) been like recovering from sugery.

How did this come and go so fast?
All I have is memories to keep.
I just had the best day of my life,
And I cried myself to sleep.

We walked around for just a little while;
You told me a few times that you liked what I wear.
Everything you said to me, it made me smile;
And just for the record, I love your long hair.

We ran out of time, now you're out of sight.
I'm so sorry that I held you up at the end of the night.
The clock was winding down the second that we met,
But now my hand begins to weaken, and this paper's getting wet.


^^

The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind

I won’t live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible to find

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep

And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find


:)

Let's get fucked up and die.
I am speaking figuratively of course.
Like the last time that I committed suicide.
"Social suicide."

Yeah, so I'm already dead,
On the inside but I can still pretend.
With my memories and photographs I have learned to love the lie.

I want to know what its like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.
I want to know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense,yeah.
Let me in, let me into the club 'cause I want to belong,
And I need to get strong.
And if memory serves I'm addicted to words.
And they're useless...in this department.

Let's get fucked up and die.
I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie.
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode.
I'm about to explode.

I'm a mess I'm a wreck.
I am perfect and I have learned to accept,
All my problems and shortcomings 'cause I'm so visceral, yet deeply inept.

I want to thank you for being a part of my.
"Forget me nots and marigolds and other things that don't get old."
Is it legal to do this?
I surely don't know.
It's the only way I have learned to express myself,
Through other peoples descriptions of life.
I'm afraid, I'm alone and entirely useless...in this department.

Let's get fucked up and die.
For the last time with feelings we'll try not to smile.
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights that still shock and surprise.

I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end.
But I choose to abuse for the time being.
Maybe I'll win. But for now I've decided to die.

Sister soldier you've been such a positive influence on my mental frame.
If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks
Initiative. Goddamn the liquor store's closed we were so close to scoring.
It hurts, it destroys 'til it kills. I am tired and hungry and totally useless...
In this department.

hmm training jom training jom life's a bitch.

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

my heart's too far gone. im learning to live the numbness. but this life has become so empty and meaningless that i ask myself everyday if its worth it. the past year was no doubt an eventful one with many ups and downs. but somehow it drained every bit of life i had left in me. i feel dead. i wanna move on now but i somehow cant. it hurts and i can only find solace in my sleep. but when i wake, the pain shoots back into my arteries racing for my heart attempting to tear the broken pieces into shreads.

you used to be the one that would make me smile and promised me that everything would be okay. i'd gaze deep into your eyes and i'd see the love we shared. but now its gone. after everything i did for you, you just leave me here with nothing and tell me that your sorry. i hope you find yourself soon, before forgetting me. because i'd like you to see what you threw away. all the times when you needed someone to make you laugh or cheer you up when your down, i was always there. i never did let anyone put you down, i gave you all the fucking support you needed, and brought you to where you are now. you said it yourself, without me, you would have died a long time ago.

this relationship wasnt all bad though there were great happy times. but you had to leave me with a sad broken heart with nothing left in me to carry on. you threw it all away, i've always been the one who picked the pieces up. im sorry i cant do it anymore, it hurts too much. i will be back, strong as ever.

words sometimes slice deeper than razorblades ///

hahahah and it somehow has a connection to othello and desdemona ^^

you can have whats left of my black broken heart
hit a cone and im sure it won't be that bad
even better a sheet of lsd plus rusty needles and swirling colors
flying high away from the pain and tragedy and finally finding solace
i hope you read this and love me back when im dead
cos its too late now
its too late

hmm random <3 note buried under othello points. fuck lit.
ily:]

remember the times we had
think back and remember the times we shared
every single moment we should have embraced
but we didnt know, we didnt know, and we took them for granted
it wasnt your fault, it wasnt mine
we just didnt know, we didnt know, how things would turn

so i'll take back
all the sad memories we had
and bring back
the sweet memories we shared
just give me one more chance
to let me prove you wrong
i'll do it all in pain
i'll make it work again

remember the times we had
think back and remember the times we shared
those nights when we gave it all
you gave it all for me
how your hand fits perfectly in mine
and i tell you that everything'd be fine
you just stood there starry eyed
thinking that i lied

so i'll take back
all the sad memories we had
and bring back
the sweet memories we shared
just give me one more chance
to let me prove you wrong
i'll do it all in pain
i'll make it work again

and with one last shot
i'll give it all i've got
would you be with me through this
and tell me your not pissed
just let your heart go
and let the tears i bleed heal the cracks
shaping you
making you
remember the times we had

so i'll take back
all the sad memories we had
and bring back
the sweet memories we shared
just give me one more chance
to let me prove you wrong
i'll do it all in pain
i'll make it work again
do it all in pain
and i'll make it work again

feeling empty and thought i'd write something here but fuck it im too lazy.
love you :(

blood splattering against the window
cleaning it almost instantly
there's no one home
there never is

lying faced down on the kitchen floor
wrists slit with perfect precision
face tinted pretty blue
left to die alone

perfect suicide
lonely homicide
fuck consequences
this life was useless
i will never be saved

dying, night before the perfect suicide
heart shattered into a million pieces
lungs choking on the litres of tears
breaking, consuming, killing

attempting to fix the already dead organ
sticking back the tiny broken pieces with black tape
words exchanged still speared my ears
soaked with the liquid flowing out my face

perfect suicide
lonely homicide
fuck consequences
this life was useless
i will never be saved

tito i write, you play. sex? hahahah

When ashes fly with the wind
Show me something sweet like dead bodies soaked in vodka
Plummeting into the swirling pool beneath
While pretty fairies glide high in the heavenly skies
Gazing down with almost sinister smirks
Is this life?
Getting drunk on red wine with a tobacco stick stuck in between your smooth cracked lips
Incisors ready for an attack
Lies rolling on your tongue
Boosted with the stench of alcohol
So will anyone tell me
Is this life?

Will anyone tell me
Hit me punch me
Will anyone care
Fuck no
So this is life then
Get ready cos tonight we dine in hell

HAHAHA WAS BORED :]

OKAY IM FINALLY BACK IN SINGAPORE. HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE SATURDAY ACTUALLY. BUT SOMEHOW SINGAPORE'S TURN ALL SOUR AND UGLY AND I HAVE NOTHING HERE ANYMORE LIKE I USED TOO. THE FOOD'S GREAT AND ALL BUT LIKE ITS NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. WELL WHEN WE MEET AND ALL EVERYTHING'S FINE AND NORMAL AND WE'D BE HAPPY. OR RATHER, I'D BE HAPPY AND YOU'D PLAY PRETEND. AND THEN WHEN YOU GET HOME YOU'D START BITCHING AND CONTRADICT EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAID. WHATS MORE YOU'D BRING UP EVERYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ME AND BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING. I KNOW ITS PMS SOMETIMES BUT HOW CAN YOU FUCKING BE PMSING YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU SAID YOU WANTED US TO END WHEN I LEAVE AGAIN. OKAY FINE I RESPECT YOUR DECISION BUT AT LEAST MAKE OUR LAST DAYS HAPPY. ARENT YOU HUMAN ENOUGH TO DO THAT. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS WORK, HOW HARD IM TRYING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY EACH DAY. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SEE WHAT PLEASES YOU AND IGNORE THE REST. YOU SAY THAT ITS TIRING. WELL MAYBE IT IS ONLY COS YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE IT NOT WORK. THIS FUCKING SUCKS I FEEL LIKE SHIT. CAN SOME MOTHERFUCKING AH BENG COME WHACK ME UP NOW. I PROMISE I'D FIGHT YOU. YOU KNOW THE GUY IN HEROES THAT CAN CONTROL TIME AND STUFF, YEAH FUCK THAT I WANNA BE HIM. LOVE, YOU.


throw it away
forget yesterday
we'll make the great escape
we won't hear a word they say
they don't know us anyway
watch it burn
let it die
cause we are finally free tonight.

YAY OMG LAST PAPER TMR AND ITS CHEM. LOVEX. LIT WAS REASONABLY EASY TODAY. DID LIKE 2 PAGES PER ESSAY. OKAY THINGS ARE GREAT NOW. LIFE HERE'S PRETTY SLACK ESPECIALLY NOW THAT SCHOOL'S OUT. CANT WAIT TO GO BACK TO SINGAPORE :] I WANNA EAT. OMG OKAY LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO .. THE FRATELLIS. THEY'RE LIKE A 3 PEICE BAND THAT REIGNS FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THEY PLAY SEXY BRIT ROCK. EVERYONE SHOULD GO LISTEN TO THEM. INDECENTLY ROUSING. HAHAHAH. I MISS MY BABY I WANNA HUG KISS AND MAKEOUT WITH HER NOW. LIFE AT PALMERSTON IS SO INTERESTING. ITS LIKE OC PLUS NEIGHBOURS PUT TOGETHER OR SMTH. A FUCKIN REAL LIVE SOAP OPERAH. HOW'S THAT. OKAY THERE'S THE COUPLE THE BITCH THE NICE GUY THE NICER GUY AND THE LANDLORD. PUT THEM TOGETHER AND YOU GET SCANDALOUS BULLSHITZ. OH OH ITS JUST 4 MORE DAYS BTW. OKAY CANT REALLY SAY MUCH NOW BUT I'LL BE HIGHER TMR OR SMTH AFTER CHEM. LAST PAPER :] SEX. OH AND JOYCE LEE I FUCKIN LOVE YOU YAY.

hahah thanks to tito, choto matte's stuck in my head. you know those kinds of words where you can keep saying and not get sick of it. it just flows and after saying it you get that sense of accomplishment like whoa. so lets all say it together, CHOTO MAT-TAY AHAHAHAH. its like fuck spider. no one really knows what it means but it feels nice just saying it. oh but i do know what chotomatte means. its like wait a moment or smth. hahah i think im high someone make me shutup. okay so fuck the last post i feel much better now. in fact, i feel clever :] junwei thought me how to do chem so now i can do the spdfg shit alr yay. and the up down up down thing too. i swear i'll ace chem. no wait, i'll do good. i'll be just fine :] today was pretty slack cos i had like 2 periods only. bio tut and eap. sex. went for coffees with nick after and bitched bout funny kids. jom. omg i think blogging's fun. hahah i need to learn how to put up pics. someone teach? the used and saosin are coming but i shall be a good boy and study and not go. kishallgodolitnowbye. miss you bitch <3 choto matte one more time just for you.

okay didnt use this much till now cos i have no where, YES FUCKING NO WHERE, to pour my emotions to. right now, honestly, i feel like shit. school term started like a few weeks ago and it just kinda flew past. learnt some stuff here and there. well i took chem last year and not bio. but guess fucking what. my bio's better than my chem now all thanks to pj. like wtf hippoass cant teach. friends here are sex. but i still miss everyone in singapore. its like a whole chunk of my life is gone when im here. i miss you :( im trying my best here to hold on and stuff but like it wont help cos its so one sided. you say you dont wanna give up on us but why arent you trying at all. i mean the least you could do is try right? or maybe im not worth it. well i want you to know that i love you with all my heart and soul and im trying my very best to hold on. but i dont know how long more i can cos you're not helping me. you said you needed time and i gave you time. then you'd be normal for a day or two and then tell me that you're not sure if you want to hold on anymore. then you'd ask for more time and the whole cycle continues over and over again. i dont know if your having fun or smth but all i can say is that it hurts. it hurts so badly that i'd wish someone would just whack me up or smth. wouldnt it be nice if i just died. i dont hurt you i dont lie i dont keep stuff from you i dont flirt with girls i dont do shit. sometimes you do but i'd always forgive you and like move on. i dont know how much longer i can hold on but at least im fucking trying to. im holding on cos i love you. well, you want time now so im giving you it. i hope you find yourself and not change your mind again. take care of yourself alright. ily. on a lighter note. exams are around the corner. no wait, its like this sat. have to go choing chem and lit alr. and in my spares maybe math. oh and the part when i said friends are sex. i mean it cos yall take my mind off stuff and actually make living here fun :) friday nights weekend outings and all. god you all are great hahah. yay and i'll be back in 10 days time. but if your gone, i'd have nothing to look forward to and i'd probably stay here and jom myself to death or smth. i miss you. i hope you find yourself soon and work things out. k feel much better now yay :) shall go do chem now. lovex

dont go, you said you wouldnt, you said you wouldnt.

soooooooooo..nigel <333 came over and we cam-whored.TWO VIDEOS were created.the genre of it is..X-RATED.well this is nigel's thoughts.

"brian has a big badandang and i loved blowing.he's co cutee and i love cuddling him to sleep.."ogggayy nevermind.

iloveflickingyoureyebrows-

OMG okayyy i love cuppacinos yo. HAHAHA recalls funny mat in front of starbucks tryna do survey things. K so he's probably like 18-ish and he's a mat. So every survey done gives him like 5 bucks and lets say if little mat gets lucky he'd get 25 surveys a day. Phil did the math and said he'd earn 125 a day and like 2500smths a month which is not bad for a 18-ish guy. Oh and thats alot for a mat too. HATES MATS. Yay there're like english prelim orals tmr and i swear i'll like ace them. OH AND BIG WOMAN IN FRONT OF US SPILLED HER BOOBS EVERYWHERE IT WAS FUNNY SO WE LAUGHED AND SHE STARED AT US. Phil got horny. Okay i didn't say that. *covers mouth* wanted to sheesha but had no one to go with :( oh well. Then like on bus we saw sa couple making out. Like gosh they were so fuckin horny and stuff. Girl's shirt was off so her nice black little lacy bra could be seen. Haha they were like really really noisy too. God who the fuck makes out in the bus like eww. THE GIRL WAS REALLY FAT AND UGLY BF SHOULD DIE. Door bitch.
uninspired : < LOVE.